Adam in a Jar
by Kadreia
Summary: Short little fics about what would happen if Adam's soul was in a jar and in the Winchester's possession. I take submissions. T because Adam has a bad mouth. NO SHIPPING ZONE. If I don't update here I usually do on my blog on a regular basis. crapiblinked./tagged/adaminajarfics
1. He's in a What?

The hunt was finishing up normally as normal. The vamp was now headless, and the boys were in good moods. One less vampire in the world and the evening air was cool and clear

"So where to now, Sammy?" Dean asked with a grin on his face as he leaned on the Impala, over looking the mostly empty field where the rundown building that was the vampires nest rests. "Because I'm feelin' pie."

Sam looked down at his ripped shirt. The lone vampire had taken him by surprise when he walked into what he thought was an empty nest. He had blood on one of the plaid sleeves, and looking at Dean he saw that his brother had blood speckled in with the array of freckles. "Dude, we should clean up first."

Dean opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Sam's eyes suddenly grew wide with confusion.

"Hello, Sam." Death's voice was as calm as it always was, along with a little hint of annoyance which always seems to happen when he's around the Winchesters.

The elder Winchester quickly turned around, ready to fight on instinct. When he saw it was only the horseman, however, he relaxed.

"Dean" the irritation in his voice growing even more prominent. "I have something for you."

Sam, completely ignoring what Death had just said, interjected, "How did you find us?"

Death sighed before he began to speak again, "I tend to keep tabs on the few men which I have had to kill more than once."

Dean made a face at Sam that seemed to say "he's got a point"

"Now, here. This is now yours." He outstretched his hand which held a large jar that was glowing a bright light blue and handed it to Dean.

"What is it?" Dean asked as he poked and twisted the lid seeing if he could get it off.

"Please, don't do that, Dean. That is your brother. When the angels were kicked out of heaven I found his soul wandering around the earth. And Winchesters can't be left unattend-"

"_I'm not a Winchester_" the jar screamed.

Dean jumped while Sam's eyes just grew wide in amazement

"W-wait?! You mean this thing's Adam?" Sam uttered, dumbstruck.

"_Oh fucking hell… I thought you were the smart one. Of course it's me_."

Dean shook the jar lightly.

"_Don't fucking shake me, you dumb ass!_"

The hunter's mouth dropped and he slowly looked at Sam to the jar and then to Death. "How'd you get him in the jar? And why do we have to take him?"

Death gave a little sarcastic smile. "He's your brother. And it seems that since he's the only soul that was kicked out of heaven, even Metatron couldn't handle him. I wish you luck"

"_Wait!_" Adam exclaimed, "_You can't leave me with them!_"

Without a sound Death vanished leaving the two Winchesters with the very pissed off soul of their youngest brother in a jar.


	2. What Do We Do Now?

Dean looked up at his brother with an aghast look on his face. "Well what the hell do we do now?"

"_Get me away from you two fuckups!" _The jar in Dean's hands yelled, and as it did so the jar burned hot.

"JESUS" Dean shouted, the jar falling to the cracked asphalt. The clear jar cracking a little just below the lid.

"Dean!" and "_You fuck_" rang out from the other two men… well, one man, one jar.

Sam bent down and picked up the still fairly hot jar which held his younger brother's soul out from under the Impala where it had rolled.

"Adam, are you okay?"

Dean scoffed, "Oh, yeah, sure. Ask the asshole if he's okay rather than the person who was burned." He nursed his burnt hand close to his chest.

"_Of course I'm okay. I'm not a pussy like you two."_

Sam's lips formed a thin line. Dean, however, did not have the same self control.

"Listen hear you little shit, we've been through things you couldn't even imagine."

The jar burned cold in Sam's hands. The feeling reminded him of what it felt like to have Lucifer in him. See, Sam learned that rage didn't burn hot. Rage burned cold, but upon looking at Dean's hand Sam concluded that hate much burn hot.

"_And all that time you never even tried to look for me. You didn't know if I was still in the cage or up in heaven. You didn't even care, did you? You didn't care about your half brother. I thought family was everything to you, Dean."_

The accusation stung Dean like a knife.

The jar suddenly warmed up but not hot. Just warm enough to comfortably hold it.

"_I guess that's a good thing too. That means we're not family and that's fine with me."_

Dean's eyes met Sam's. The guilt and exasperation in his face faded.

"Come on," Sam began "let's just go back to the bunker.

"_So I guess I'm stuck with you guys?"_

Dean grunted out a "yes" as he ducked into the Impala.

_"Great…"_


	3. The Beginnings of a Break

The ride back to the bunker was… tense to say the least. Dean was gritting his teeth in the drivers seat while Sam stayed quiet next to him holding a slightly cool jar.

_"Where are we going?"_

Dean cast a harsh glance at the jar. "Why do you care?"

Sam glared at his older brother. He knew Dean wasn't purposely being an ass; he just had a "special" way of dealing with guilt brought upon by Adam.

_"Wow. Touchy. I just thought I'd ask… So, Sam, where we going, bro?" _the last word was dripping with sarcasm that Sam would have caught whether or not the jar heated up a tad. It just so happened it did, though.

Sam didn't open his mouth. Instead he braced himself for what he knew would be coming. And it did.

Dean slammed on the brakes causing the chevy to screech on the asphalt. "Why do you give a rat's ass?" he yelled.

_"Why, Dean, I only want to know where my two favorite brothers are staying."_

Sam exhaled. "Guys, please stop. This is unnecessary."

"No, Sammy, you know what's unnecessary? This little shit finding his way back to us! He clearly wants nothing to do with anything Winchester so why do we have to be responsible for him! I mean he can obviously take care of himself!"

_"Easy now, tiger. I had a pretty nice place up in heaven, thank you very much. Things were working out just fine for me. Gabe say's hi by the way, Sammo."_

That brought Dean to a halt. "The S.O.B.s alive? No way."

"Yeah, Adam, he died. A long time ago."

_"Dude, no. Don't you know that guy at all? He wouldn't let himself get killed. Yeah sure, Lucifer taught him all his tricks but Gabe hung out with the pagans for years. He can handle himself."_

The oldest Winchester huffed. "Yeah, well he doesn't do us any good now. Probably cast out of heaven like the rest."

"_That's all people are to you, isn't it. Can't use them anymore so they're useless. That's what happened to me."_

Dean's voice was ear-splittingly loud "You know that's not true!"

_"Really then? What was it then, Dean? You didn't even try to get me out! Wouldn't have done much since I was gone before Lucifer even took Sam to the prom, but it didn't hurt any less! We may not be brothers but I thought saving people was apart of the family business! I thought that's what John taught you two to do!"_

With each word the jar got hotter and hotter. So hot that Sam had taken off his jacket and was holding it with the jacket like an oven mitt. He could see the crack at the top of the jar grow even larger. That's when he saw a bit of the blue light trying to find a way through the opening.

"Okay, enough!" Sam screamed. "Enough, both of you. You're going to get each other killed without even touching one another. "Adam, cool the fuck down so you don't burn my jacket. Dean, drive."


	4. As You Can See, I'm in a Jar

Adam let out a low whistle. _"Damn, nice place you got here. I'm glad to see you both settled down."_

Dean puffed up his chest at that. "Yeah, well, it's home," he said proudly

_"Let me guess, you have the "Hang in there kitty poster hanging in the living room"_

Sam smirked while Dean only eyed the jar Sam was carrying. "Kiss my ass, Adam."

_"You know I'd love to, Dean, but as you can see, I'm in a jar."_

"Yeah, speaking of that," Sam began as he set the 34oz mason jar on the table. "How did that happen? I thought only the angels got cast out of heaven. Not souls as well."

_"Sam, if i had eyes I would be rolling them so hard they would get stuck in the back of my sockets."_

"That'd be something to see" Dean interrupted as he opened Sam and himself each a beer and sat down.

_"Shut it, asshole. As I was saying, and if you listened to Death at all, I was the only soul to get cast out."_

"But why?"

_"I uh… well you see, souls are allowed to roam heaven whenever they want. They don't have to stay in their specific paradise and well, I found out where Metatron did his thing and I decided to hang for a bit. I guess I annoyed and or insulted him so much he decided he didn't want me up there anymore. And you know the rest. Death found me and here I am."_

The room was silent for a moment after Adam finished his story. It didn't stay like that for long, however. Without warning the two Winchesters burst out laughing simultaneously.

Sam's head was bent back in laughter and Dean was doubled over with it. The older Winchester looked up, tears running down his cheeks, to look at his younger brother and Adam. "You mean to tell me, you were so goddamn annoying that you got kicked out of heaven?"

_"That's my specialty." _

_"_That's the best thing I've ever heard."


End file.
